I’m going to Dubai.
Yes, it’s true, I’m going to Dubai.
This is a pretty big deal for me. It’s a dream come true, an opportunity I simply couldn’t resist, and yet, one that isn’t exactly easy to embrace. I’m older and wiser now than I was when I first went abroad to travel – I’ve got stuff. And a secure job.
But yeah, I’m going to Dubai.
I was terrified to utter that statement aloud for the first couple of months after I got the job offer because I really didn’t believe it. Certainly, I always believed it was possible, but not yet. I mean, I’ve been thinking about working overseas again for more than a decade. “Someday, I’m going to the Middle East”. But NOW?! Uh, oh. It’s real?
It all started last winter when changes at the university where I work had everyone in my department sending out resumes (enrollment was down). Like everyone else, I too, entered the ranks of job-hunting. But when I got the offer, I also had assurance that I’d be staying at my current job, so I was afraid of relinquishing my university job in case the Dubai thing didn’t work out for some reason.
Then, I got the email saying that my paperwork was all complete and confirmed and that I should “inform my current employer.” GULP.
I composed an email for my admin team and then sat on it for 48 hours before I had the guts to hit “send”.
Another 48 hours or so and I felt like I was free-falling with no solid ground in sight. It was like skydiving and wondering if the parachute would work or not; or like bungee-jumping and trying to recall if all the safety latches on the harness had actually been secured.
There’s a background story here. You see, for nearly a decade after returning from Japan for the last time, I was unemployed and flailing myself through depression. So the fear of finding myself in a state of no income is way too real for me. I know for sure that the black hole is real because I’ve been there, lost in it, to be more accurate, and so I know its ability to envelope me in a heartbeat, turn me upside down, and taunt me with the illusion of exits that are nothing more than suction holes that only take me deeper. Kind of like a mirage in the desert, I suppose.
So yeah, voicing that “I’m going to Dubai” based on nothing more than email communications with a team of headhunters was frightening.
But I did it. Sent that email.
Then I met with the director of my department at the university and she gave me as much assurance as is possible that I would be welcome upon my return at the end of my contract overseas. I know her words are not promises, but the sentiment felt like hearing the security latches on the bungee rope snap into place.
So here I am now, free-falling, and hearing angels singing in the background. I notice that the angels’ songs are bringing awareness of faith into my conscious circle. Faith is belief in safety in the universe, safety in my place in the universe, safety in trust in the midst of not knowing.
I only know that I believe. I believe I’m going to Dubai; I believe I will be paid for my work there and that the payment will be enough; I believe that all things I don’t yet know will unfold in due time and be lessons and blessings that will change and enrich my life.
The momentum of change is in full force. I am riding on the winds of change and the breeze speaks to me, telling me what I do know: I know that I am me evolving and that the new ME will ripple out to new shores. Indeed, my horizons are expanding.
I hear my own voice joining the angels as I fall through space into a new time in a new place: I am going to Dubai and “it is well! It is well with my soul!”